Singaporean Mothers - A force of nature, a master chef and the walking encyclopedia of proverbs both wise and utterly bizarre. But let's face it - when it comes to expressing emotions, those three magical words ‘I love you’ can hardly be heard in Singaporean households. But that doesn’t mean your mum doesn’t love you or is incapable of showing emotions. In this post, we break into the not-so-secret code our mothers say or do to lowkey say ILY - gestures that involve volunteered advice, passive-aggressive guilt trips and proper meals every single time.
The ‘Why You Never Eat?’
The classic one that everyone experiences daily! You enter the house, put down your lunch, it’s filled and bam! There she is, hovering by the kitchen counter with a concerned frown. ‘Why you never eat ah? Do you think you can survive on air, meh? Why do I even bother to wake up early and prepare this meal.’ It might sound like a guilt trip, but it's her way of saying, ‘I care about you, so please eat well and on time.’
The ‘Can You Help Me With This?’
We've all seen it - the charade of struggling to check the stories on WhatsApp (especially after the recent update). Grunts and groans galore while lifting and handling utensils. This is just her other way of saying, ‘I miss you, spend some time with your old mom lah!’ disguised as a plea for assistance.
The ‘Fine. Just Keep It lah…’ Sacrifice
You finally convinced your mom to get that vintage Chanel bag that you have been eyeing for years. As you walk out with your new treasure, you hear a mumbled, ‘At least now you will stop bothering me. Make sure you use it properly.’ This usually translates to, ‘I am happy that you are happy.’
‘Where are you going? Who you going out with? Do I know them?’
You like it or hate it - Moms will forever be your ‘Sherlock Holmes’! As she mumbles or says these words out loud, she wants to know you are safe. New places and new people can be nerve-wracking for her, even if she tries to hide it. Knowing your plans helps her keep track of you just in case (in case) she needs to pick you up. And the hidden meaning behind this is a big ol' dose of mom-love.
The ‘Here, Take This’ Care Package
Heading out for a trip (even for the day)? Expect a care package fit! Enough instant noodles to feed a village, enough medication to stock a pharmacy, and appropriate wear. This is Singaporean moms' way of saying, ‘I am your mom. I will always worry about you and do everything in my power to take care of you.’
BONUS: The Silent ‘I Love You’ Hug
Yes, Singaporean mothers are not much known for their displays of physical affection. But sometimes, a warm hug that goes up to five Mississippi speaks volumes. It's a lowkey way of saying ‘I love you so much’ without actually saying it. It’s also a silent promise of being always there for you, a care and protectiveness that goes beyond words. The next time your mother breaks out the guilt trip or brings you an ice pack despite you two not being on talking terms for the time, her every action says she cares about you. So, look beyond the gruff exterior and the seemingly critical comments and you will see love as strong as Singapore’s sambal chili sauce.For the upcoming Mother's Day,treat her to extravagant gifts and grand gestures. Or you can even go for the simplest things that mean the most. Whichever option you choose, remember to hug her (even if she pretends to be surprised), help out with chores without being asked, and tell her, in your own words, how much you appreciate her. After all, actions speak louder than words!